There’s one thing every OH student can agree on: we need more violence. Picture this: A perfect school, brawls breaking out everywhere. The clashing of fists-on-skin rings gloriously through the halls. Knuckles flying around every corner, a lawless utopia.
On March 23, 2024, OH bathrooms will immediately close due to upcoming construction by order of new superintendent Dr. Rigatoni.
This change is due to a proposal presented to the school to get rid of the bathrooms, and it passed.
The parents of Oswego students have worked their hardest to incorporate different wellness routines into Kinetic Wellness courses.
After the overwhelming success of the 9/11 workout experience, a local Facebook group, We the Grandparents, immediately put it upon themselves to create a second, better workout. After weeks of research, a workout based on the events of the January 6th insurrection was modeled and pitched to the school board.
35 years ago, a security guard at local pizzeria Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza was left in a critical state after being severely injured by one of the animatronics. Now, he speaks out against Fazbear corporation.
*Fifty42 is 42Fifty’s April Fool’s edition and consists entirely of satire. This content is published purely for humor and entertainment – it is entirely fictional and is not meant to be viewed as “real news” or taken seriously in any way. Any references to real people are based almost entirely on fiction.