Satire

OH has many super people in the building, but only two of them are actual super-powered superhumans. Ance Parlowe and Caidan Moniatowski have been battling crime in the community as a team for years, protecting students and fellow citizens from the terrors of the Oswego crime ring.  Moniatowski and Parlowe have been friends for years, working their jobs together and having crazy adventures, but their superpowers are what make this duo so super. Being from Oswego, the two have humble beginnings, similar to any other famous heroes, but are now responsible for the protection of the community.

Upon their return from spring break, the senior class will be hosting a competition to find the most chronically absent student. A record total of 589 OH seniors plan to participate in the competition, which will last from April 2 to May 17.  “This is their best idea yet,” explained SD308 superintendent Dr. Calamari. “I am so happy that they are taking the initiative to get out there and solve our attendance problem.”

Spring break is right around the corner, and Miami doesn’t want you, but do you know who does? Oswego! The Village of Oswego is the next destination for spring break 2024, and if that’s not believable, just wait. There's the beautiful Fox River and rustic downtown shops in Oswego. “I love the shopping here, I bought eight bikes in the last three days!” said local Fred Johnson.

If you understood anything in that title, chances are it's too late. Don’t even try going outside anymore; lock yourself up in your room and continue scrolling through Reddit while listening to some underground band to compensate for your bad case of B.O. Keep going “he's just like me fr” with pictures of Guts from Berserk if it helps you cope (we all know you're more of Shinji Ikari anyway).

Any photographer knows that they will do anything for the image. That mindset has caused some interesting photos of myself to arise as I am looking for the perfect image. Below, a photo essay captures the behind-the-scenes view of a photographer giving it her all for the best pictures.