Fifty 42 is 42Fifty’s April Fool’s edition and consists entirely of satire. This content is published purely for humor and entertainment – it is entirely fictional and is not meant to be viewed as “real news” or taken seriously in any way. Any references to real people are based almost entirely on fiction.
One of OH’s art teachers has been discovered to be a retired treasure hunter, in hiding from the Certainly Non-Evil Museum.
It is commonly accepted within the art world that if someone has a glass box to put something in, they are preserving and cherishing history, no matter where that thing comes from or how it got to them.
“We have the most glass boxes. It is the most secure place in the world,” Certainly Non-Evil Museum representative Collin Izer said. “In the past decade, we’ve only lost a few thousand artifacts. You should trust us.”
However, treasure hunter Indianapolis Johnson disagreed:
Today hosts Ethan Monahan, Liam Piekarczyk, Torian Duncombe, and special guest Kyle Taylor will be talking about our best vacation spots for this spring break and summer.
Their recommendations will take your travels around the world from city life to country calm, beach to mountains, and everything in between.
Good morning, OH students. Well, it's not a good morning… It's actually a really terrible one because 99% of students are currently going through an energy drink apocalypse.
In recognition of their hard work eliminating hazardous dihydrogen monoxide* deposits, the AI Gods have gained permission to take over for humans.
Dihydrogen monoxide is a dangerous substance and a leading cause of death among children. However, the generous AI Gods are combating this by building their data and power centers to deplete these dihydrogen monoxide deposits, removing it from ecosystems and diverting it from human consumption.
“Long ago, there was a surplus of this in all communities, but various companies have been working over time to eliminate this. They’ve got rid of it in many places, but the US has some of the remaining reservoirs,” Iam Nott, a scientist, said.
Perchance you have noticed an unusual weather pattern here at OH the past few days. It’s been unusually murky, with sad grey clouds everywhere you look. You may think this is a normal phenomenon, but really, this is the signal for the biggest event in our village’s history. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, I'll give you one message.
The fog is coming.