In the last two decades, the book series Metro 2033 by Danill Gibazovonovich would have been a wonderful book about shooting irradiated wolves and bugs to save his subway station, but he had to go and ruin it all. He had to make the main character a massive wimp.
“Sometimes you just have to make a dude a wimp, what can I say?” said Gibazovonovich while eating a sandwich.
*Fifty42 is 42Fifty’s April Fool’s edition and consists entirely of satire. This content is published purely for humor and entertainment – it is entirely fictional and is not meant to be viewed as “real news” or taken seriously in any way. Any references to real people are based almost entirely on fiction.
After what were at first dismissed reports of creepers in downtown Oswego, hundreds of residents began sharing sightings of the green, boxy creatures in various locations throughout Oswego in recent days.
"I wasn't sure if it was a publicity stunt to promote the upcoming flop of a film," OH junior Piers Markus said of the not-yet-released Minecraft movie. "But then, when I brought home one of the perfectly cuddly little guys, my mom freaked."
Tune in as 42Fifty podcast hosts Torian Duncombe, Matt Aviles, and Shecid Huerta bring listeners the unlikely news of the Minecraft mobs that have taken over the quiet community of Oswego.
OH has many super people in the building, but only two of them are actual super-powered superhumans. Ance Parlowe and Caidan Moniatowski have been battling crime in the community as a team for years, protecting students and fellow citizens from the terrors of the Oswego crime ring.
Moniatowski and Parlowe have been friends for years, working their jobs together and having crazy adventures, but their superpowers are what make this duo so super. Being from Oswego, the two have humble beginnings, similar to any other famous heroes, but are now responsible for the protection of the community.
The coolest thing to ever happen just occurred at the location, and it couldn’t be more amazing! Our whole community is celebrating this momentous occasion, and we’re glad we can share it with you!
“Wow! I can’t believe that happened!” said an individual.