Every day, students traverse through the sun, rain, and snow to make it to their cars in the gravel lot. After many complaints from students and staff, OH is now offering PE credit for those who dare to walk.
“After protesting for months I finally get to enjoy my walks knowing I get an A+ for it,” said OH senior Jantonio Jondragon.
The village president of Oswego has declared today that they will be dying the river in five different pastel colors on Easter: baby blue, light pink, pastel yellow, bright lavender, and pastel green. Additionally, there will be an egg hunt held in Hudson Crossing Park after the dying.
“I think it is a little unusual that they are dumping toxic chemicals into the Fox River," said OH science teacher Thackery Corn. "It might not be too great for the environment, but at least it will look nice.”
Throughout OH history, many incidents have caught the attention of students, but the biggest one has been under the student's noses since its founding. The Science Department teachers are aliens in disguise, led by Earth and Space teacher Mr. Corn.
Multiple students have witnessed their true form, but many teachers seem to deny it.
Fifty 42 is 42Fifty’s April Fool’s edition and consists entirely of satire. This content is published purely for humor and entertainment – it is entirely fictional and is not meant to be viewed as “real news” or taken seriously in any way. Any references to real people are based almost entirely on fiction.
One of OH’s art teachers has been discovered to be a retired treasure hunter, in hiding from the Certainly Non-Evil Museum.
It is commonly accepted within the art world that if someone has a glass box to put something in, they are preserving and cherishing history, no matter where that thing comes from or how it got to them.
“We have the most glass boxes. It is the most secure place in the world,” Certainly Non-Evil Museum representative Collin Izer said. “In the past decade, we’ve only lost a few thousand artifacts. You should trust us.”
However, treasure hunter Indianapolis Johnson disagreed:
On Thursday, March 23, the teachers of OHS stormed the office of Superintendent Dave Marlin to demand a new curriculum strategy: Tik Tok. Instead of using Google Classroom, like in past years, they have agreed that Tik Tok is the best solution for turning in assignments for the upcoming 2023-2024 school year.