Every day, students traverse through the sun, rain, and snow to make it to their cars in the gravel lot. After many complaints from students and staff, OH is now offering PE credit for those who dare to walk.
“After protesting for months I finally get to enjoy my walks knowing I get an A+ for it,” said OH senior Jantonio Jondragon.
The village president of Oswego has declared today that they will be dying the river in five different pastel colors on Easter: baby blue, light pink, pastel yellow, bright lavender, and pastel green. Additionally, there will be an egg hunt held in Hudson Crossing Park after the dying.
“I think it is a little unusual that they are dumping toxic chemicals into the Fox River," said OH science teacher Thackery Corn. "It might not be too great for the environment, but at least it will look nice.”
![[[SATIRE]] Can't go to Miami because they broke up with spring breakers? Oswego has you covered!](https://i0.wp.com/oh42fifty.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-01-8.22.08-AM.png?resize=681%2C488&ssl=1 "[[SATIRE]] Can’t go to Miami? Come to Oswego")
Spring break is right around the corner, and Miami doesn’t want you, but do you know who does? Oswego!
The Village of Oswego is the next destination for spring break 2024, and if that’s not believable, just wait. There's the beautiful Fox River and rustic downtown shops in Oswego. “I love the shopping here, I bought eight bikes in the last three days!” said local Fred Johnson.
35 years ago, a security guard at local pizzeria Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza was left in a critical state after being severely injured by one of the animatronics. Now, he speaks out against Fazbear corporation.
After what were at first dismissed reports of creepers in downtown Oswego, hundreds of residents began sharing sightings of the green, boxy creatures in various locations throughout Oswego in recent days.
"I wasn't sure if it was a publicity stunt to promote the upcoming flop of a film," OH junior Piers Markus said of the not-yet-released Minecraft movie. "But then, when I brought home one of the perfectly cuddly little guys, my mom freaked."
Tune in as 42Fifty podcast hosts Torian Duncombe, Matt Aviles, and Shecid Huerta bring listeners the unlikely news of the Minecraft mobs that have taken over the quiet community of Oswego.