*Fifty42 is 42Fifty’s April Fool’s edition and consists entirely of satire. This content is published purely for humor and entertainment – it is entirely fictional and is not meant to be viewed as “real news” or taken seriously in any way. Any references to real people are based almost entirely on fiction.
Throughout OH history, many incidents have caught the attention of students, but the biggest one has been under the student’s noses since its founding. The Science Department teachers are aliens in disguise, led by Earth and Space teacher Mr. Corn.
Multiple students have witnessed their true form, but many teachers seem to deny it.
“They seem normal during class, but when I needed to speak to Ms. Pliper I for sure saw her in her true form before being kicked out,” said physics student Maria Casitashe. “She looked at me in shock and started to yell in an alien language. It was crazy!”
When asked about the incident, Ms. Pliper seemed to have no idea where the accusation came from, stating, “Maria needs mental help. I need to call home because she’s just making things up out of the blue.”
This was not the first incident. One of the most notorious was with Mr. Corn himself, where he was caught contacting extraterrestrial life from distant planets. While he suspected he was alone, he was speaking to himself in a bizarre language, which could only be transcribed as “⍑ᒷ||, ∴⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ⚍!¡ i リᒷᒷ↸ ᓭ𝙹ᒲᒷ ⍑ᒷꖎ!¡ 𝙹⍊ᒷ∷ ⍑ᒷ∷ᒷ.”
“Honestly, I’m not that surprised. I’m not surprised that Mr. Corn is an alien,” said student witness and alien enthusiast senior Tristan Barello.
The news has conjured mixed reactions and emotions, as employing extraterrestrials to teach science subjects makes sense, but it’s still a bizarre concept to comprehend. Although it is unclear where the “teachers” are from in the universe, logically, it would be safe to assume they come from the closest planet, Mars.
OH senior and former student of Mr. Corn’s, Wade Silliams, revealed, “I’ve known that he was an alien for a while now, since the beginning of last year. Being an extraterrestrial makes him more knowledgeable about science, so I don’t see a problem. He’s also shared many stories about his life on Mars before landing here, and I think it’s amusing.”
Some students fear these alien teachers, and some see a benefit to OH, but we can all agree that this is the most interesting thing to happen in our school thus far.
I am Enrique Salas-Aguirre a senior at Oswego High School, this year would be my first with 42Fifty. I excited to start writing and publishing my ideas and contribute my part in the 42Fifty team. I enjoy writing opinion pieces the most although I am open to all types. I like listening and making music, my favorite genre at the moment is R&B. I train weight lifting outside of school and plan to compete some day. Overall, I am excited to contribute my piece to the site, and hopefully leave a significant mark in my short time here. 🙂
This is my first year publishing articles on 42fifty. I am in my senior year at Oswego High School. I am involved in a variety of extracurriculars, including WE Club, the Muslim Student Association, the Oswego High Coalition, and the National English Honors Society.
I remember getting warned about this by my middle school science teachers, and I always thought they were just trying to get a laugh out of us (it was a slow period). Clearly, though, they were trying to tell us; we just didn’t listen.
Always suspected this….good to finally find out I was right.. 🙂