Expected perfection but found myself instead

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I would like to start with a thank you to all of Oswego High School for being an important four years of my life, and all of the lessons it has taught me with friendships, education, and my own self-growth. I have been privileged to have known many of the staff members for a long time, due to my mom being in the building, which has had its ups-and-downs, and would like to extend a thank you to the support they have provided throughout my four years. I have enjoyed my time here at OHS, and feel it has properly prepared me for the next stage of my life, so I feel it is only right to look back on my path through high school and be thankful for the opportunities and experiences I had.

To start, I attended Plank Junior High and came into OHS not knowing if I would reconnect with friends from Boulder Hill, find new people to hang out with, or struggle with finding that clique. It turned out that many of the friends I had at Boulder Hill changed and made their own groups at Thompson, people from Traughber did the same, and I was quietly trying to figure out how to fit in. 

Sports made the transition much easier, as it gave me a group to connect with and branch out. I was more focused on getting others’ approval than doing what made me happy. While COVID-19 didn’t help with online classes, it gave me time to mature and realize that you don’t have to be the most popular person or latch on to the popular few. It taught me to be myself and set the expectation of making myself happy through what I do either in or out of school. 

This led me to find an interest in golf and make connections with some of my closest friends today. It was new and different, finding my own interest which became one of the happiest times of the four years here. From there, it grew, and I found confidence in myself to make my own friendships rather than waiting for other people to come to me.

I also found my own confidence in my education and trusting that the next step is the right one for me. All of my life, I have had the intention to attend the University of Notre Dame, as it was the college my dad attended and inspired me to become a fan. Countless trips to the University made me feel that would be the end goal and destination after high school. Working hard throughout my four years of high school, earning a score on the SAT I was fine with, and doing well on my AP test made me feel I have best prepared myself to apply and potentially get in. I applied to other colleges as well, but Notre Dame was the dream school I have always wanted to get into. 

On December 16 at 6:42 p.m., the decision was released, and I learned that admission into my dream school was declined. At that moment, I had a feeling of, what am I worth? Working as hard as I possibly could, pushing myself to be as close to perfection as possible, and still coming up short was a tough thing to handle. 

It opened up other possibilities for my future education and life. I learned to appreciate the other paths I could take to still reach my goal of becoming a successful architect. This realization led to my commitment to the University of Illinois of Urbana-Champaign, where I will study architecture, stay in contact with close friends also attending, and enjoy the college experience I will create. 

The hard work I did throughout high school taught me that even if it did not get the recognition of the preferred buyer, there are still other bidders out there that appreciate the work I did, and they will provide me with opportunities. I look forward to the next four plus years of my education, which OHS has prepared me for not only educationally, but also emotionally.

Lastly, I would like to focus on my own self-growth I experienced throughout my four years at OHS, as I have completely changed since freshman year. The first change I would like to highlight, and the elephant in the room, is I have gone from being 5’7” freshman year to 6’4” senior year. 

Now on a more serious note, and relaying back to what was previously mentioned in the friendship paragraph, I feel I have found more confidence in myself to be who I want rather than meeting others’ expectations and approval. 

All my life, I have felt like I have been in the middle of a tug-of-war match with my dad on one side and my mom on the other, with each pulling my arms to be more on their side and agree with them. Not only dealing with the constant feeling of having to please my parents, I have had to help guide my brothers and be the older role model for them. I do this while hiding the inner struggles I have with finding a common ground between parents, working through tough and demanding classes, and managing outside relationships with friends. It has been quite the shift in senior year, where I feel I have become less of a people pleaser and more of myself. It has set me up to be confident in who I am, and what I do in college in becoming my own person.