Home Satire Prom 2022 to be held at Olive Garden

[SATIRE] Prom 2022 to be held at Olive Garden

*Fifty42 is 42Fifty’s April Fool’s edition and consists entirely of satire. This content is published purely for humor and entertainment – it is entirely fictional and is not meant to be viewed as “real news” or taken seriously in any way. Any references to real people are based almost entirely on fiction. 

Fifty42 would like to properly inform you that the OHS prom of 2022 will be held at Olive Garden in Oswego, Illinois. 

The dance will take place in the front parking lot under the lamp posts. All trees in the surrounding area will be available for photos before and after the dance. 

The dance itself will take place in the parking lot and food will be provided on the waiting seat booths inside the lobby. We will only be having unlimited breadsticks and lemon water for our meal; OHS did not actually rent out Olive Garden, so there will still be customers inside ordering regular food. 

Olive Garden currently does not have enough workers to supply enough food for both prom and regular customers. The extra cheese for the breadsticks will cost 50 cents per cup, and because someone will need to say “let me know when” for the cheese, each guest will be required to give a $3 tip for waiters. 

We are unable to afford our own music, so Olive Garden will be graciously providing its own. Classical, Italian music will be played for both slow and fast dancing. The music will be played throughout the Olive Garden as well as the outdoor speakers in the parking lot. Any students wishing to play their own music will be sent home or at least escorted out of the parking lot for loitering. 

For safety reasons, we will be collecting all personal items in Olive Garden to-go bags. Olive Garden workers will keep these behind the counter but can not guarantee items will be looked after during the dinner rush hour. 

For some extra fun, we will be hosting a raffle giveaway just before dismissal. The raffle giveaway will be one free soup or salad and a handful of Andes Candies mint chocolates. 

Tickets will cost $350 (please note this does not include the $3 tip for the waiters). Feel free to inform your friends and family as we celebrate prom at a new location- Olive Garden! To learn more, visit the main office for more information. 

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My name is Trinity Heard, I am a Senior at Oswego High School, and this is my first year writing for 42fifty. I am very excited to continue working with the team and help other learn more about journalism. In my free time, I enjoy spending time with friends and family, baking, and editing. I also am a part of the Student Council as President and work as a crew member at Culvers. I look forward to being involved in 42Fifty as a managing editor for this year.

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