I sat in my room teary-eyed, watching the movie that would alter my perspective for the rest of my high school career: “Perks of Being a Wallflower.” As I stared at my computer screen, I heard Paul Rudd’s character, Mr. Anderson, say what would become my favorite quote.
“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
At this point in my life, I had experienced my share of friendship breakups and romantic hardships. After spending the first sixteen years of my life picking the wrong people—those who shattered my heart, dismantled my self-image, and allowed me to believe that I was worth much less than I am; the words sat uncomfortably in my stomach.
Despite the pain I endured, I held onto the hope that everything happens for a reason. Anderson’s eight words lingered in my headspace for months to follow. I slowly began to find people who were right for me—ones who appreciated my kindness, valued my intelligence, and enjoyed my company.
I found co-workers who showed me for the first time that work could be fun. Their kindness and humor made me comfortable enough to face and ultimately overcome the social anxiety that I had suffered from for years.
I found teachers who wholeheartedly supported my goals and ambitions. Through their support, I emerged with the resilience and tenacity to achieve things I did not believe I was capable of.
I found a group of girls who never failed to have a good time. Whether it be a night out or a casual trip to our favorite frozen yogurt place, just their presence alone made me feel like I was on top of the world.
I found four guys who never failed to make me laugh. Despite their goofy personalities, they have some of the kindest hearts I have ever known. In such a simplistic way, they made me feel safe enough to revive parts of myself that I had thought I lost a long time ago.
Ultimately, I found people who showed me the love that I deserved. You know who you are. Thank you for always supporting me. I love you.
To the person reading this, whoever you are and wherever you are, hang in there. When you believe you deserve more, it will find you, too.
Even from 388.6 miles away, I’ll be rooting for you.
42Fifty Managing Editor, signing out.
My name is Natalie Raabe and I am a senior at Oswego High School. This is my second year as a member of the 42fifty team and I serve as a Managing Editor and the Features Section Leader. Additionally, I am a member of the BIONIC board, NHS, Best Buddies, SNHS, NEHS, Rho Kappa, and Mu Alpha Theta.
