Disclaimer: *Fifty42 is 42Fifty’s April Fool’s edition, and consists entirely of satire. This content is published purely for the purposes of humor and entertainment – it is entirely fictional and is not meant to be viewed as “real news” or taken seriously in any way. Any references to real people are based almost entirely in fiction.
Marcus Antonio Rubino, Secretary of State, has been appointed to become the Mayor of Oswego. It was announced by President Tonald Drumpf on Truth Social.
“Rubino is an incredible Secretary of State. I’ve decided to make him from some random village in Illinois, while I won’t be able to point to it on a map, I can assure residents that Rubino will NEVER LET YOU DOWN,” stated Tonald Drumpf, on Truth Social.
This appointment came as a shock to Oswego residents, who questioned the legality of the move.
“I have no idea what the president is trying to do here,” said Oswego resident and pilot, Assyo Washington. “Rubino is a fine Secretary but what does he know about running a village?
Becoming mayor of Oswego will add to Rubino’s long list of jobs, such as General of the Armies, National Security Adviser, and head coach of the Miami Dolphins.
“I won’t lie to you and say it’s easy to have all these jobs, but in this economy, I definitely won’t complain about the extra cash flow,” said Rubino.
Despite concerns about him being overstretched with his responsibilities, some locals have high hopes for the new mayor.
“I’ve always been a fan of Rubino since his days in the Senate. He has plenty of experience with administration work, so I think he’ll be a great mayor,” said OH resident and EMT worker, Davey Martiniz.
According to some sources, Rubino has been scrambling to understand his new role and has relied on his policies in the Senate to guide the village.
“After a long day of looking at its Wikipedia article, I feel confident that I know exactly what Oswego needs to be great again. It won’t be quick, but I’m sure whatever the problem is, we can throw enough soldiers at it to fix it,” said Rubino.
Rubino is expected to take the oath of office today, April 1st, 2026. It will take place in Oswego, New York, due to a mix-up in flights.
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