Taylor Ana - Co-EIC

Fifty 42 is 42Fifty’s April Fool’s edition and consists entirely of satire. This content is published purely for humor and entertainment – it is entirely fictional and is not meant to be viewed as “real news” or taken seriously in any way. Any references to real people are based almost entirely on fiction. One of OH’s art teachers has been discovered to be a retired treasure hunter, in hiding from the Certainly Non-Evil Museum. It is commonly accepted within the art world that if someone has a glass box to put something in, they are preserving and cherishing history, no matter where that thing comes from or how it got to them. “We have the most glass boxes. It is the most secure place in the world,” Certainly Non-Evil Museum representative Collin Izer said. “In the past decade, we’ve only lost a few thousand artifacts. You should trust us.” However, treasure hunter Indianapolis Johnson disagreed:

In recognition of their hard work eliminating hazardous dihydrogen monoxide* deposits, the AI Gods have gained permission to take over for humans. Dihydrogen monoxide is a dangerous substance and a leading cause of death among children. However, the generous AI Gods are combating this by building their data and power centers to deplete these dihydrogen monoxide deposits, removing it from ecosystems and diverting it from human consumption. “Long ago, there was a surplus of this in all communities, but various companies have been working over time to eliminate this. They’ve got rid of it in many places, but the US has some of the remaining reservoirs,” Iam Nott, a scientist, said.

I’ve been on Speech Team for three years, and I still don’t like class presentations. For one thing, it’s a hassle to design a slideshow and memorize a speech. For another, it’s pretty nerve-wracking to stand up in front of peers and present. It’s a common feeling. “When I was in high school, I hated presentations," said OH English teacher Abby Bartle. "I was so shy, I didn't want to get up there. ... I wish that I had been forced to do more presentations and get more comfortable."

Here are the 3-27-26 student announcements from 42Fifty. Please see our YouTube channel for previous announcements and our video archive.

In common news coverage, more focus is placed on the Presidential elections every four years than any representation of local elections and the candidates running for local office, much less primaries. However, voting in a local election actually ends up having more local impact than a national election. “This will be my first time voting, so I am excited,” said OH senior Hassan Lawal. “It is important now for young people to vote because we are the future, [[and]] it’s important to vote in local elections because those are elections that impact you most.” Local elections, and primaries, which determine which people end up on each party’s ballot in November, are just as important as the bigger national and presidential elections, but they are often less well-advertised, and as a result have lower voter turnout.