My desire for time to move faster has conflicted with my despair of getting older for my entire high school career. I’ve cried at last concerts, last days of school, and countless other lasts, all while speeding out of classrooms, crossing off squares on my calendar, and praying the days would pass quicker. On one hand, I hear “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac and start balling, and on the other, I feel like I am two years overdue for a graduation.
Following COVID, I befriended a bunch of older students. After countless months of monotony and tireless hobby trials in my room, I was actually making memories I never could’ve imagined being able to make. By the end of my sophomore year, they all graduated and went off to college, leaving me feeling simultaneously left behind and propelled forward. I clung to remaining friends my age, and those who would leave the following year, like they were lifelines– anything to keep more time from passing and more of my people from moving on.
However, time moved forward, and more best friends moved on too, leaving me even more distraught at the prospect of being stuck in the same place while other people close to me got to start the rest of their lives.
Senior year, that sentimental part of me diminished almost entirely as fellow students felt more immature, high school events became trivial, and I got more and more impatient. More days than I could count, I would come home dejected and apathetic, begging my long-distance friends to talk to me about anything and everything in their college lives.
I was counting down the days until all the lasts and shed very few tears about the prospect of things ending. The end couldn’t come soon enough.
Now that the end is here, though, I’m grateful I had to wait my entire high school career for it.
Through waiting, I had the time to meet my second family. Evan and Chris are the best older brothers I could ask for, and they have helped me more than I will ever be able to repay them for. Lilliah, Charlie, and Andrew taught me about living life the way it was meant to be, full of laughter and adventures, and supported me through some of the most turbulent moments in my life, whether they knew it or not. I am thankful every single day for all their guidance.
I’m grateful for all the trumpets and musicians I’ve played with, and for all the articles I got to edit. I’m even glad I had to lug around heavy bags of camera equipment and clap until my hands hurt in sectionals, because I couldn’t stand having no experience with these exceptional humans.
The last two years especially, I was able to see my little women grow. I’ve seen Kendall and Leah become some of the best humans I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, and I am confident they will make wonderful leaders to many after I am gone. I’m particularly delighted I got to see my little sister grow into a strong, kind, and funny girl; she is someone I take so much pleasure in watching grow up.
I could not be more grateful that I got a full four years to make new friends, while also getting even closer to the people I’ve loved since elementary school. Abby and Nola, I didn’t meet them until later, but they are unapologetically themselves, which is something I’ve aspired to my whole life. I’m so happy I’ve had the time to spend hanging out with Sasha, and to have so many nights unpacking life with Grace. I don’t know what my life would be like if I didn’t live across from Gabi, and I am having a particularly hard time picturing being three hours away from her laughter.
What I thought I hated about waiting was feeling like I was just killing time before the rest of my life started. Still, I’m never getting those late-night talks with my parents, or afternoons playing with my dogs, back. I never would have even had them to begin with had I not been here waiting.
In the end, I’m still glad the wait is over. It’s hard to be left behind. Regardless, though, I’ll still be crying to “Landslide” on my final night at home and hugging my friends a little tighter on our last day, because even though I hated waiting, I’m glad I did. Waiting will always be a part of my life as long as moving on is, and I wouldn’t be the person I am today, or have the memories I do, without waiting around.
I am a senior at OH and so excited to be a Managing and Opinions Section Editor this year! I love working on 42Fifty, but I am also very involved in band and numerous honor societies here. Looking forward to doing great work this year!
