My smile has come to be something of a trademark of my personality. At one time or another, every person I have met has commented on its squintiness and cheesy nature.
I used to hate it, used to hate that I always looked like I was blinking in every picture with my friends- my chin lifted to the sky and mouth as wide as it could go. I used to practice smiling before big events and school pictures, desperately hoping to make my face seem more normal. I eventually resorted to making goofy faces in every picture so I didn’t have to smile.
But I started to see things differently the day I found two little creases on my cheeks. That’s right- I have smile lines at the ripe age of 18.
Like any teenage girl, this became my nightmare. Wrinkles? At 18?! You have to be kidding me! But then I thought about it, and my worldview began to shift.
These little wrinkles, like my cheesy smile, that I could let ruin my confidence, started to show a deeper meaning. Somehow, I had smiled my embarrassing smile so many times in 18 years that they had etched their permanent lines on my otherwise youthful face.
I began to think, how lucky am I to have a life that made me laugh and beam and shout and sing so many times that I cannot remove the happiness from my face?
I am so lucky to have a support system that makes me smile a full-tooth, eyes-shut grin in every picture. I am so lucky to have permanent lines of love etched into the creases of my skin, created through years of celebration and laughter.
I will never forget the days my cheeks hurt from late-night laughing in the car with my friends and sitting for hours at the dinner table with my family, cracking jokes and creating memories.
I am so thankful for a boyfriend who makes me smile, taking the time to call me and make me laugh on a rough night. I am grateful that school has been my safe haven for years, a place where I know I can find teachers who will find a way to make me smile and feel valued.
Although it’s cheesy and exaggerated, my smile is one of the truest ways I show my love and joy for those around me. I am so happy to take pictures with my friends on trips or at events that I physically can’t control the joy on my face.
I am so excited to spend quality time with my loving family that I have to squeeze my eyes shut in order to show my full joy. I can barely contain the love bursting from my body that every picture with my boyfriend makes me look like a crazed teenage girl who just met her celebrity crush.
For some reason, nature has decided to mark my face with the 18 years of happiness, hope, and laughter that I will cherish forever. While I may not always love the way they look, my squinty eyes and smile lines are a reminder of the blissful memories of my childhood, and I would not trade them for the world.
My name is Sasha Pankuch and I am a junior here at OHS. This is my first year with 42Fifty too. I am very involved here at OHS; I am on the board of Student Council, I play the saxophone in the Panther Marching Band, and am a member of multiple honors societies!
