Disclaimer: *Fifty42 is 42Fifty’s April Fool’s edition, and consists entirely of satire. This content is published purely for the purposes of humor and entertainment – it is entirely fictional and is not meant to be viewed as “real news” or taken seriously in any way. Any references to real people are based almost entirely in fiction.
Every day, students traverse through the sun, rain, and snow to make it to their cars in the gravel lot. After many complaints from students and staff, OH is now offering PE credit for those who dare to walk.
“After protesting for months I finally get to enjoy my walks knowing I get an A+ for it,” said OH senior Jantonio Jondragon.
The credit substitutes for an 8th period as students in the class can begin their trek through the soccer fields. Each walk, morning and afternoon, is worth five points, making a full day ten points.
“If a student decides to skip their hike then they must attend credit makeup after school, [the PE department] advises students to make the walk every day to limit their makeup days,” said OH kinetic wellness teacher Mendy Bonn.
The credit makeup occurs every Wednesday from 2:30-3:30 p.m. The students must finish 10 sets of walks to and from the lot in the allotted hour’s time.
“I went home sick one day and I lost points for my afternoon walk,” said OH junior Bari Borales. “I had to attend makeup, it was miserable, it was below zero and just freezing.”
Many students have questioned the ethics behind the course, highlighting the harsh weather conditions these students have to walk through.
During the week of Marchtember 42-78, OH students were reportedly walking through a blizzard, hurricane, tsunami, and a sinkhole in the center of the lot.
“The sinkhole was massive. It took my car and now I have no way to get to school,” said Jondragon. “To get my full credit I have to take the bus then walk to the gravel lot and back.”
This tragedy struck the gravel lot community very hard, as many students lost their cars to the sinkhole.
Out of the 40 students in the course, 45 of them are now carless, causing them to take extra laps around the gravel lot to earn full credit.
“We have since gone on strike due to the unfair rules this course has placed upon us,” said Borales.
The 40 students of the program now skip their hike to the lot to strike against the course. When Fifty42 asked the Kinetic Wellness Department about the strikes, they deflected and refused to answer.
Hi I'm Chayse! I'm a Senior at OHS and this is my first year on the 42Fifty team. When I'm not at school, I participate in activities such as BIONIC, Commotion, SOTC, and many various Honor Societies! You can contact me by emailing 42Fifty@sd308.org and putting my name in the subject line. We welcome comments on our articles and feedback on our publication!
Extremelyyyyyyyyy silly!
Sinkhole missed my car thankfully, mailbox has been silent since the incident too though…
I need one more PE credit badly, now I regret not parking in the gravel lot
Amazing job! It was great to work with you, Purple! 😀
That week of marchtember was pretty rough.
So glad this unethical course is finally being talked about. As someone who has a parking pass, I was so sad to see some of my peers struggling through the tsurrizard sinkhole 🙁
Wheres Omni man
Fantastic decision by the school, should have been this way since the gravel lot opened. Unfortunate about the sinkhole though…
This is hilarious! LOL