*Fifty42 is 42Fifty’s April Fool’s edition and consists entirely of satire. This content is published purely for humor and entertainment – it is entirely fictional and is not meant to be viewed as “real news” or taken seriously in any way. Any references to real people are based almost entirely on fiction.
These days, all people do is complain about how technology is ruining their kids’ brains. I agree. With test scores as low as ever and children retreating to their phones for answers, you tend to feel hopeless.
Do you let your children’s minds succumb to the eventual destruction phones cause? Is there anything you can do to prevent this?
We’ve all had those questions. So I offer you a simple idea you may have never thought of.
We go back to carving tablets.
Yes, I know, it’s a strange thought. But let’s consider the positives before we knock the idea, okay? Because sometimes the best idea is the one you’ve never considered.
Pros:
- Children will have more reasons to study.
- Carving builds character.
- Art will always be present and rooted in their minds, as they can pre-cut their rock to whatever shape they prefer.
- Rocks are a natural resource—an abundant one. We can’t run out of them like how we run out of fragile, weak trees.
Cons:
- Students may hit their peers with the rock (but there will always be staff to prevent this outcome).
- You may experience a “grani-feriority complex” (a complex characterized by feelings of inferiority when your stone is compared to someone else’s stone)
So putting all of these facts together, the first con is removed by our staff’s dedication to their work. Less money goes into unrenewable paper and pencils, and more into our team, which helps cultivate the students’ minds.
Rocks will be a good way of teaching students how to mature. They can teach students not to make mistakes (since you’ll have to re-cut your rock). Those who want to pursue ceramics and art will find more outlets in their lives.
And at the end of the day, even if paper beats rock in theory, the rock can easily outweigh the sheet of paper if you throw it hard enough.
Hello, I'm Gianna! This is my second year on staff, now as a senior in high school. I'm the head of the News and Artwork sections. I'm currently in Color Guard, B.I.O.N.I.C, NAHS, NEHS, Quill & Scroll Honors Society, and Senior Class Council!
Yes! I already force my students to HANDWRITE (archaic, I know) many of their assessments. I’m tired of cut-paste copies of answers and love to see their individual thoughts instead. The stone tablets will only enhance the individuality!