Disclaimer: *Fifty42 is 42Fifty’s April Fool’s edition, and consists entirely of satire. This content is published purely for the purposes of humor and entertainment – it is entirely fictional and is not meant to be viewed as “real news” or taken seriously in any way. Any references to real people are based almost entirely in fiction.
VD Pance, vice president and notorious couch lover, has gone couch shopping. This comes after his pleading wife, Uda Pance, said that the couch in the oval office will do.
“VD, we have a family, we have a couch,” said Uda Pance.
Despite these pleas, we found VD Pance roaming around our local La-Z-Boy. It is unconfirmed what he is doing, but many who witnessed the event recall feeling uneasy.
“I really wanted to puke [at VD’s actions], but I was couch shopping, and my family of four just found the one,” said local mother, Norda Smorth.
Despite the publicity, President Crump supports VD and his couch-shopping activities.
“I have loved a couch; I have loved many couches, but none more than the couch in my office,” said Crump on X.
This comes after images of Sec. of State. Narko Wubio sitting on the office couch.
“I have never felt a couch so sticky. [Crump] must have spilled orange juice,” said Wubio.
VD Pance has been fighting these rumors for several months after a post on X detailed a section of his book, “Hilbilly Elegy.”
Though his sectional relations have been largely unconfirmed–excluding one AP article that jumped the gun–today’s shopping experience proves his actions are still odd.
With this situation ongoing, there is still much to be determined. Will this be Pance’s only trip to La-Z-Boy? If so, will there be legal implications?
“I really feel that couches need more love,” said Pance in a text thread to Wubio days before this shopping experience.
Hi, I'm Skye, this is my first year as a student journalist here at the 42Fifty. I am in my senior year and involved in various extracurriculars including, Speech, LASO, and YAG. Follow me on all socials! @eskyeeeeee
